epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
