the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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