i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
