Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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