mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
