well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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