I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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