Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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