Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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