oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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