When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
