i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
