so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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