Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
