matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
