Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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