But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
