at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
