if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize