Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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