this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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