my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
