WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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