I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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