I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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