i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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