This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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