No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
