When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
