Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
false alarm, still single
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