I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize