I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I forget how to act sober
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
