The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
