I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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