Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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