also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Alive.
So much puke
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
