Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
