I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
