You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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