I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
