i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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