Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
