So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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