So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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