I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
