New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
try to milk me bitch
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
