as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
