Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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