Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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