wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
