I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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