We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize