yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
