Swine flu is the new snow day.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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