I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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