Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize