Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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