YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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