I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
