Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
