brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
