I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
