Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
